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Cry it out method: baby crying

I’m not gonna lie and tell you that raising a child is easy because all parents know that kids require lots of patience, comfort, attention, and so much more… 

It’s completely normal for a baby up to 4-5 months to wake up multiple times during the night demanding breast or bottle, however, if your child has reached the mark of 6 months, then it’s time to do something about his/her sleep schedule and finally get some rest. 

There are various methods of sleep training your baby, however, today I will introduce you to cry it out method (CIO), which is widely popular but is still quite debatable. Furthermore, I will explain how the cry it out method works, when you can start practicing it with your baby, what studies have to say about this technique, and, at the very end, provide you with tips for safe sleep.

Kylie Crowley

Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant

How does the cry it out method work & what is important to mention when speaking about it?

Many parents confuse cry it out with other sleep methods. Cry it out is when you place your baby in bed, and when they cry, we ignore it by not entering the room and forcing them to fall back asleep without assistance. For infants, I would never suggest cry it out as a sleep method because newborns NEED assistance with sleep. That does not mean your baby will NEVER cry, but we don't need to implement cry it out for babies of any age!

Sleep Training: Cry it Out Method

If this is not the first time you’re reading about cry it out method, then you may have noticed that there are so many different opinions and misconceptions about sleep training. So, it’s time to make things clear once and for all. 

Sleep training[1] is a method to help your baby to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer throughout the night. What’s important to understand is that all of us wake up during the night due to our sleep cycle, however, we don’t have a problem getting back to sleep and don't even remember being awake.

One of the sleep training techniques - cry it out method, focuses on that ability to get back to sleep without even remembering being awake. While we learn this skill on our own, you can sleep train your baby to develop it faster. 

Cry it out method: baby crying

The majority of the sleep training techniques, including the cry it out method, rely on teaching your baby how to calm down and put themselves back to sleep. Even though such techniques don’t work for all babies, a few studies revealed the positive effects of such soothing methods. 

When to Let Baby Cry it Out? How Long Should It Last? 

When talking about the CIO method, the most common questions include: 

When to let baby cry it out? 

How long to let baby cry it out? 

Generally speaking, you can start sleep training your baby when he’s at least 4-6 months old. However, since all babies are different, before making any major changes, you should discuss it with your pediatrician. 

It’s also important to know how long to let the baby cry it out. You should start by giving your baby 3 minutes to relax once he/she starts crying. Then move to 5, 10 minutes and gradually extend the time interval. 

Cry it out method: baby crying

However, since there are different sleeping techniques, you should see how they differ from each other in terms of the questions - when to let baby cry it out? how long to let baby cry it out? 

Different CIO Methods 

The misconception about the cry it out method appears when parents make primary assumptions before getting more information. The cry it out method is not about leaving babies alone for an unlimited time, you should rather wait for a few minutes to allow them to soothe themselves before rushing to comfort them. 

While crying is a huge part of the CIO method, it’s not the main goal. You should be thinking about it this way: if your baby is used to getting your attention such as hugging and rocking once he/she wakes up, then it’s possible he wouldn’t know how to calm down on his own. 

So, when teaching your baby to fall asleep without your interference, crying will be a huge part of the process. It’s completely normal because that’s the way babies ask for attention. However, after going through cry it out method, babies learn to calm themselves down and no longer associate waking ups with the attention that parents give. 

Cry it out method: baby sleep

There are a few different cry it out methods that you can try if your baby is already 6 months old

Note that it’s best to consult your pediatrician before trying out different sleeping techniques, especially if your baby is younger than 6 months. 

The Ferber Method

The Ferber method [2]is based on the 1985 best-selling book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Richard Ferber. It relies on a very specific, progressive regimen to put your baby to sleep at night. Your baby should be at least 6 months old to practice this technique. 

  • Creating a bedtime routine. You should provide your baby with lots of affection, cuddling every time you put him to sleep.
  • Make sure your baby is still awake when you put him/her to a crib. 
  • If your baby starts crying, give him/her five minutes to relax. 
  • Get back to the room and try to calm down your baby with soothing words while gently rubbing the back. You shouldn’t pick your baby up, if possible.
  • Check your baby regularly while increasing the intervals if your baby cries - 3, 5, 10 minutes, and so on. 

Cry it out method: baby eyes open

In a week or so, your baby should learn to relax and get back to sleep on his own without waking you up. 

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The Babywise Method

The Babywise method[3] is based on the book “On Becoming Babywise” that was originally written by Dr. Robert Bucknam and Gary Ezzo. This approach is not like all the others cry it out methods, it focuses on three phases, including eating, waking up and sleeping. 

If you want to practice the Babywise method, you should focus on aspects as waking your baby at the same time every morning and put him/her to sleep at the same time in the evening. What is more, make sure your baby eats and takes naps regularly. When putting him/her to sleep, make sure your baby is still awake. Another important factor that’s highlighted in the book is that you should always remember that you’re the parent. 

Cry it out method: baby awake

Even though this approach is well-known, many of you might think that it’s impossible to keep with the schedule at such a young age. That’s partly true. 

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The Basic Bedtime Method

Another cry it out method is based on Dr. Jodi Mindell’s book “Sleeping Through the Night”. She already helped thousands of parents to put their babies to sleep. The technique that Mindell presents is quite similar to Ferber’s method. Here are the main rules you should stick to: 

  • Routine. Make sure to create a routine for your baby. Before putting him/her to sleep, give enough affection, hugging and cuddling. When you create some sort of routine, your baby will know what leads after what and when it’s time to go to sleep. 
  • Put the baby to sleep early. Based on Jodi Mindell’s book, babies need to go to sleep early, at about 7-8 p.m. Sometimes your baby might not be able to sleep because he or she is too tired. By setting an early bedtime, you will make sure that your baby is not over exhausted. 
  • Interact with your baby. All the activities that you do with your baby before putting him/her to sleep, should be fun and positive. You should sing, cuddle or read a book. This way, your baby will associate fun with sleep time, rather than thinking that something bad awaits. 

This method offers the simplest techniques. 

Cry it out method: baby sad face

The Weissbluth Method 

The creator of this method is Dr. Mark Weissbluth. He presents one of the cry it out methods in his book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” and focuses on very minimal parent interference to teach the baby how to self-soothe and get back to sleep. 

This method is recommended for children over 6 months old, however, you should consult your pediatrician, just in case. While this method might seem similar to the Ferber’s, there’s a difference. When practicing the Weissbluth method, you put your baby in the crib and don’t go to comfort him/her, unless it's time to feed, you need to change diapers, or there’s some sort of accident. 

When we talked about Ferber’s cry it out method, I’ve explained that you should check in on your baby regularly, and try to make the gaps between these check-ins longer over time. This way, your baby gets used to calming down on his own. 

Cry it out method: baby sleeping

Therefore, this method is definitely not for every baby and not for every mom. Needless to say, it sounds like the worst cry it out method. But that’s only my personal opinion. 

What Studies Have to Say About CIO Method? 

When it’s the topic that concerns children, parents are often concerned about efficiency and safety, especially when we’re talking about a child’s sleep. So the main question is whether or not cry it out method is safe. 

While there are many different experiences, the majority of parents would agree that the CIO method truly works. I found out that many pediatricians together with the American Academy of Pediatrics claim that this practice is completely safe for your baby once done right. However, your baby should be at least 4 months old and, if you’re not feeling sure about this practice, then it's recommended to talk to your pediatrician. 

Let me present you some conceivable benefits that are associated with the cry it out method:

  • More sleep for baby and parents. When parents take care of their babies, they do everything in their power to give attention, affection, make sure that they’re fed and get enough sleep. However, you shouldn’t forget about yourself and the quality of your sleep. When your baby will learn to calm down on his own, you’ll have so much more time for yourself.
  • You will notice quick results. Even though cry it out techniques don’t work for every baby, parents who found these methods to be working, noticed the results in 7-10 days.
  • Learn to relax on their own. If the CIO method is successful, then your baby will learn to calm down without your interference. This skill is helpful not only for infants but also for when your child grows. 

On the other hand, some studies reveal negative associations to the cry it out method and little attention to children. That include:

  • Insecurity 
  • Anxiety
  • Avoidant interactions

What is more, based on Psychology Today, a baby’s brain is developing so quickly, in the circumstances of high levels of stress, it can create conditions for damage to synapses. Thus, you can never know what neurons were damaged in the situations of great distress and it can show up later in life. 

Cry it out method: baby sleeping

It might sound scary but many psychologists claim that as long as the baby is loved and get enough attention during the day, then cry it out method can do no harm. 

Therefore, while there are many different opinions on the CIO method, everything completely depends on you and your baby. 

Tips for Safe Sleep

No matter if you try the CIO sleep method or other techniques, if you’re a new parent, there are some important aspects to always have in mind when thinking about safe sleep. They include: 

  • Always put your baby to sleep on his/her back to minimize the possibility of SIDS.
  • Use a firm mattress. Make sure your baby is sleeping on a firm surface to reduce the risk of SIDS. If you don’t know where to look, you can check the cribs of the best quality
  • Never put your baby to sleep on a sofa, couch, or armchair. It’s very dangerous because your baby can easily fall off. 
  • Do not share a bed with your baby. 

Conclusions

Therefore, as promised in the very beginning, I explained how long to let baby cry it out, how the cry it out for naps and nighttime sleep works, when you can start practicing it, the different techniques and tips for safe baby’s sleep. 

You can start practicing CIO method when your baby is at least 4-6 months old. First, you should start by allowing your baby to self-soothe for 3 minutes, then increase the waiting time to 5, 10 minutes, and so on. 

There are different techniques of cry it out for naps and nighttime, they include Ferber, Babywise, Weissbluth, and the Basic Bedtime methods. Even though there are different opinions on how these methods impact your baby, the majority of the pediatrists agree that it’s completely safe

Whether or not you’ve tried sleep training before, you should always make sure to pay attention to safe sleep. Your baby should always sleep on the back and on a more supportive mattress. Also, never put your baby to sleep on sofa, couch or armchair, and avoid sleeping with your baby for his own safety. If you're interested in finding the perfect crib for your baby, then you can find some amazing options here

I hope this guide was helpful and you found all the answers you were looking for.

Kylie Crowley

Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant

Contributed By Kylie Crowley, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant

As a working mom of 3, Kylie understands the demands that parents face in an ever-changing, fast-paced culture. She first developed a deep appreciation for sleep upon the birth of her first child, ...

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Scientific References

Contributed by Kylie Crowley, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant

1. Can Fam Physician: 'Infant sleep training: rest easy?'

2. Elizabeth Higley and Mary Dozier: Nighttime maternal responsiveness and infant attachment at one year'

3. Barbara A. Hotelling, et al.: 'Styles of Parenting'


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Recent User Reviews

Thanks for the article!

Great article, very informative and well structured, thanks!

Not always working

I think it depends, for me Cry it out technique worked very well for my 2 children but not with the youngest one.

Patience is the key

For mummies out there, if it doesn’t work quickly, just remain patient, you’ll see a difference after a moment.

First time mom here

I am a first time mom to an 7 week old girl and we haven't been able to sleep lately, I like this method but I have been reading about attach parenting and I don't know if this will work.

Tried it!

RECOMMEND IT TO PARENTS! THIS METHOD HAS BEEN GREAT FOR OUR BABY, DO NOT WORRY, IT TAKES TIME FOR YOUR BABY TO GET USED TO IT BUT AFTER THAT, EVERYONE WILL SLEEP HAPPY

is 5 weeks too soon?

we tried this method but my baby kept crying for more than 15 minutes, I don't know if she is ready for it.

Didn't work for my baby boy

My baby takes up to 10 minutes to fall asleep I think bouncing works better, but i'm glad some parents find this useful

I prefer babywise method!

Babywise method is the best, tested and approved!

Bouncing isn't the best anymore

For the first weeks bouncing was perfect but now that my baby is 4 months old it never works, I'll try the weissbluth method :)

helpful

reading this has been informative, originally just looking for a nice crib but it was nice to run into this post

I've been using it on my own

I didn't it had a name and it was considered as a technique, i've been using it for my 3 children.

The Ferber method didn't work

I've tried the Ferber method, it didn't work for me, i dont know why

Changed sleeping time

I guess I was putting my baby to sleep too late, will try 8, I really don't like listening my baby crying, but I understand more now this method!

Interesting article

Very riche and informative article, thank you!

Baby wakes up at night

I don't know if this happens & if it's normal, my sweet baby falls asleep after 2-3 minutes but it always wakes up again around 3am, bouncing helps but I wonder if I should completely swaddle her, I leave her tiny hands free but maybe she gets cold.

Priceless content

As a future mom, i would like to thank you for the useful inforation of your article!

Getting the right crib

We are currently looking for a better crip, my baby gets too hot and wakes up after I put him to sleep, any recommendations?

Routine

Does anyone know how long it takes it to become a routine? I'm a bit lost and I would like to know more about it

Great method!

I was stressed with this method on the first days, but now that I'm more experienced I understand being sleep deprived is the worst but our baby and us.

Finally something interesting

Finally, i found something interesting, i'll try it on my baby, finger crossed, hope it'll work

FAQ

Is it OK to let a child cry it out?

Even though leaving a baby to cry it out can e difficult to some parents, many studies show that this technique will teach your baby to calm down on his own as well as will allow you to rest throughout the night. And as long as the baby gets enough attention throughout the day, there's completely nothing to be worried about.

How long should you let a toddler cry it out?

You should start by allowing your baby to cry it out for 3 minutes, then 5, 10 minutes, and keep increasing the amount of time to allow the baby to soothe himself back to sleep.

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